Had or heard any good ones lately?

I was watching the Barrett-Jackson auction with a friend of mine. She saw an old pickup truck on there with wood in the bottom of the pickup bed, seemed like it was there to save the paint. So she says.

"If I ever buy a pickup I'll get someone to put wood in my box."

I also had one the first day I started at a computer shop, back in high school. I told the guy to put the dick in the drive.

"If I ever buy a pickup I'll get someone to put wood in my box."

Thats not a Freuidan slip, more of a double entendre.

I also had one the first day I started at a computer shop, back in high school. I told the guy to put the dick in the drive.

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Thats more of a Freudian slip...have you considered the possibility that you're a closet homosexual? Maybe you and Josh can go to counseling together.

I couldn't rememebr the proper spelling of "entendre" so I googled it and the first thing that came up was the wikipedia entry (I spelled it correctly the first time) and I'm pretty bored so I started reading through it. It includes the best line ever!

For example, in Are You Being Served?, Mrs. Slocombe makes frequent references to her "pussy", such as "It's a wonder I'm here at all, you know. My pussy got soakin' wet. I had to dry it out in front of the fire before I left." A child might find this statement funny simply because of the references to her pussy cat, whereas an adult would detect the innuendo ("pussy" is sexual slang for vulva).

I dont know why, but that last part amuses me to no end.

Thats not a Freuidan slip, more of a double entendre.

Thats more of a Freudian slip...have you considered the possibility that you're a closet homosexual?  Maybe you and Josh can go to counseling together.

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I think that might be helpful for Joshiepoo. After all, his closet mentor Lance Bass is now public so he has no one to turn to for guidance and inspiration...or any AIR FORCE Tshirts.

I couldn't rememebr the proper spelling of "entendre" so I googled it and the first thing that came up was the wikipedia entry (I spelled it correctly the first time) and I'm pretty bored so I started reading through it.  It includes the best line ever!

I dont know why, but that last part amuses me to no end.

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I love that TV show. The pussy references always frazzled Mr. Henries to no end.

Thats not a Freuidan slip, more of a double entendre.

Thats more of a Freudian slip...have you considered the possibility that you're a closet homosexual?  Maybe you and Josh can go to counseling together.

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I told him to put it in the drive, not my ass.

So - maybe I'm a closet ----um..... what do you call someone who likes to watch people hump computers?

Technophile?

Could just be a subconscious desire to hump Bill Gates.

So... everyone else is too chicken to admit they've had Freudian slips?

I left a message for an ex to call me. The return message was:

"I'm trying to get rid of...get a hold of...."

Interesting. Problem is, the Prius is the -last- car that should count as a penis extension.

This isn't technically a F.S. but fun:

I stopped at a gas bar to get a newspaper. I walked up to the counter to pay for it and instead of the cashier saying, is that everything?...she asks: "do you have gas?"

I think I did at the time.

Are You Being Served? is awesome! Mr. Humphries rocked!

Yeah, it's been getting pretty bad lately. A goodlooking guy came in the other day for an estimate and I said "Yes sir, can I help you? You need an estimate on your penis, I mean car?" Honest mistake, right?

kidding... I would drop dead if that happened. :AH-HA_wink:

Edited August 1, 200619 yr by ocnblu

HUMPHRIES! That's who it was!

Are You Being Served? is awesome!  Mr.  Humphries rocked!

AMEN!

Sadly, I can't think of any good ones as of late.....

Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker

MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/

Models.HO = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/trainroom.html

"What happened next is hard to tell" ... Ray Stevens ... 'Mississippi Squirrel Revival'

That is a good show, but I like "Keeping up Appearances".

I have a really bad habit of typing "insufficient dick space".... working in the I.T. field.... this came up fairly often.

<Barry White voice>

Baby, You know I got insufficient dick space.

I gotta unloooooooad for ya baby.

Spread my lovin all over the place.

A little shot in the mouth, maybe?

</Disturbing Barry>

"It's long been my dream to sleep with Sigmund Freud's father...mother!"

That is a good show, but I like "Keeping up Appearances".

*nods*

So do I ... along with Fawlty Towers and As Time Goes By.

[foofighters]

There goes my hero.

Watch him as he goes.

There goes my hero.

He's ordinary.

[/foofighters]

I always wondered if that was about Cobain. Maybe not, but...

One time recently while at the drive-thru at BK I was handed

a Raspberry Iced Tea & a Coke, the coke was for XP so I

handed it to him saying that one's yours since in carburated.

After laughing about it he told me what I said and I realised

he was right. I always have cars on the brain. ALWAYS.

Black Adder all the way

That is a good show, but I like "Keeping up Appearances".

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"The Bucket residence! The Lady of the House speaking!"

"It's B-U-C-K-E-T... pronouced Bouquet"

"We're having the Chinese Ambassador over for tea on my Royal Dalton with the hand painted perrywinkles"

"Oh hello Sheradon! You want what? Matching silk pajamas for you and your roommate?"

I always wondered if that was about Cobain.  Maybe not, but...

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I think it is, actually.

Drew, OMG, hehehe...

anyone ever hear the Little Johnny joke.....

"use the word DICtate" in a sentence....

Interesting. Problem is, the Prius is the -last- car that should count as a penis extension.

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To me, the first is the big obnoxious Dodge Ram truck....I typically dislike anyone who drives one of those.

My story:

We recycle cans, bottles and plastic at work. We put the aluminum cans in a separate bin for one chick, Jeri, who collects them for a good cause. The bin sits in the break room.

One morning I walk into the break room. Another co-worker and Jeri are by the coffee pot. I then go over to the recycle bins. I open up the one with the aluminum cans and it appears to be near full.

I yell over to Jeri: "Hey, Jeri, you've got cans." The other guy laughed. Let's just say Jeri is very chesty.