... have taken over the neighborhood, demanding candy. Seriously, we are under siege here. Any advice?

Shoot to kill

Drop your pants, and let them have as much candy as they want.

We have trick or treaters two nights here. Last night, this little f**ker asked me what I was putting in his bag. I said it was a Snickers. He said he didnt like Snickers. I said, "No candy for you kid, and I gave candy to his friends and said that they could share their candy with him. What a little brat. I stood on my porch as they walked back to their parents, and the kid told him mom that he didnt get any candy and told her why, and she said, "Good, you didnt deserve it.". I figured I'd be up for a fight with an angry mother. I guess he's not usually a little f**ker.

I'd guess I had about 25 kids all together. Most of them were shy and polite as their parents stood out on the sidewalk, but a couple of the boys were like hardened little criminals already, just grabbing candy without even looking at me and taking off to the next house. This is actually the first year I've done this, and all in all it was fine. I had Snickers, S'mores, white chocolate Reece Cups, and Peppermint Patties to hand out.

Dang 'blu, you are the candy man!