PART 1 ... SELECT QUOTES, Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary":

Arrest = Formally to detain one accused of unusualness

Corporation = An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility

Dictionary = A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

Electricity = The cause of all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.

Justice = A commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

Logic = The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Philosophy = A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Road = A strip of land along which one may pass form where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

Zeal = A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

PART 2 ... SELECT QUOTES, Lexophile Humor

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it!

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A calendar's days are numbered.

Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"I knew what I was talking bout" ... Jimmy Wayne ... 'Do You Believe Me Now'

hahaha.... good stuff.

:duck: :duck: :duck: :duck: :duck:

Why buy shampoo when you can have real poo?

Why buy shampoo when you can have real poo?

Eewww...that was an image I didn't need...he heh.