Just thought you'd like to know, I've been quarantined. No clue what I ate to make this happen.

Sick bastards, you only clicked because you want to see DF involved in poo-play.

Edited January 21, 200917 yr by Dodgefan

Post of the Year candidate?

Thats what happens when one eats too much fiber.

Just don't go to that station anymore.

Just don't go to that station anymore.

If that's the case;

Maybe it'll give you super strength like Fry in that episode of Futurama where he eats the truck stop sandwich.

Edited November 10, 200817 yr by FUTURE_OF_GM

The gas around here has been at a new level of scary since last night.

My gas actually hasn't smelled at all these past couple days...

At first it was kinda neat, but now I'm starting to worry...

It's perfectly natural

Sometimes I have really loud big ones that have no smell at all.

We should start a C&G Orchestra.

It's perfectly natural

Sometimes I have really loud big ones that have no smell at all.

The sneaky, silent ones smell the worst

Edited November 10, 200817 yr by ZL-1

I had violent gas a couple of weeks ago--I had to hold it in for hours until I had a break. I kept saying, "Who is moving desks all day?!" every time my stomach grumbled. When I finally got to my car halfway through the day to go to the other building, I nearly blew the Buick off its axles.

I'm still kinda gassy, someone may be getting a dutch oven tonight.

Intestinal problems make you want to shop?

Intestinal problems make you want to shop?

Secretly, I've wanted a dutch oven (the cast iron cooking device) for years, but I figured that if I got one, I'd get an enormous amount of grief from everyone I know.

I had violent gas a couple of weeks ago--I had to hold it in for hours until I had a break. I kept saying, "Who is moving desks all day?!" every time my stomach grumbled. When I finally got to my car halfway through the day to go to the other building, I nearly blew the Buick off its axles.

You think that's bad... last winter I had a stomach virus... I had the most putrid gas ever. The kind that slips out softly and you're not even sure if you just $h! yourself with water. I planted myself near a window during dead of winter and I taught the majority of classes that day from that position in the room.

I love morning farts...you know when you wake up and release all of the gas that built up overnight. Few things are as satisfying.

I'm still kinda gassy, someone may be getting a dutch oven tonight.

Better to give a dutch oven than a rusty trombone.

Best thing to do every morning is to do crunches and work out all the gas from over night then you are Gas-X free all day naturally.

You think that's bad... last winter I had a stomach virus... I had the most putrid gas ever. The kind that slips out softly and you're not even sure if you just $h! yourself with water. I planted myself near a window during dead of winter and I taught the majority of classes that day from that position in the room.

Yep, I've had days like that.....

Only Satty could make a thread about farts.......and have it last well into two pages.....

I personally think farts are funny......but the worst part about farts is when you are in the early stages of dating someone, and you start sleeping at each others' places.....and that typical middle-of-the-night gassy buildup occurs in your lower intestines....and you are scared to death to let any of it out with your new love interest laying right next to you.....

Then, all of a sudden, your relationship matures to the point where you know you are close to someone when you can fart in front of them.....

I had bad gas Sunday. So did one of the terriers. Watching TV, a sleeping dog beside me on the sofa farting in synch w/ me. Priceless.

I had bad gas Sunday. So did one of the terriers. Watching TV, a sleeping dog beside me on the sofa farting in synch w/ me. Priceless.

My mini schnauzers will fart.....then turn around and look at their ass and wonder "what the heck was that?"

It's the funniest thing in the world....

My mini schnauzers will fart.....then turn around and look at their ass and wonder "what the heck was that?"

It's the funniest thing in the world....

Heh-heh... my little farter is a Silkie Terrier...the Westies, Aussie Terrier and the Yorkie puppy don't seem to fart, but the Silkie gets a lot of gas...been changing her diet to incl. baby food (veggies). She's a rescue from a puppy mill, weighed about 7 lbs w/ missing hair spots and other problems 4 years ago, now she's a bit overweight at 14lbs but her coat is beautiful and she's healthy overall. Her name is Tinky (Tinkerbell), and when she is gaseous, I call her Stinky.

Edited November 12, 200817 yr by moltar

I have the best gas story:

Several years ago I was living with my friends while I got my masters. My friend Melinda was on a health kick, and everything in the house was soy. Soy milk, soy meat, soy everything. Well, the first week while myself and her husband were adjusting to it, we would build up a lot of gas.

Kelly, our dog, walked behind me and stood up at the window ledge to look out. She cut one, but my friends thought it was me. And I started laughing while I was denying it, which caused me to squeeze a little fart out. I started laughing harder, and more gas came out. I laughed even harder and I farted harder. Well, each time it got worse, and by about the fifth fart, I was hysterical with no sound coming out of my mouth... then everything went black.

Next thing I know, my friend is screaming, "Paulie! Paulie are you okay!?" while shaking me.

We labeled the story: "The Day I Farted Myself Unconscious".

My mini schnauzers will fart.....then turn around and look at their ass and wonder "what the heck was that?"

It's the funniest thing in the world....

hehe its hillarious when they do that. my weimaraner used to do it when he was sitting so it sounded like a people fart, he would look on both sides of him whenever he did it. boy those things would make your eyes water too.

If that's the case;

Maybe it'll give you super strength like Fry in that episode of Futurama where he eats the truck stop sandwich.

ever wonder whats in that secret sauce?

YO!

Edited November 12, 200817 yr by cletus8269

I guess no did it yet, so I'll do it: *NOISY FARTS*

Sorry, but I'm feeling like a little kid today...

This thread was dumb until O.B. posted this:

Intestinal problems make you want to shop?

That's funny.

Its happening again.

OH NOES!

Have you gone on a recent White Castle bender, Satty?

White Castle = worst burgers in the world.

I had some pretty nasty gas the other night.

Have you gone on a recent White Castle bender, Satty?

Unfortunately, the nearest White Castle is in St. Louis, a good 3.5 hours away.

Ever since moving I've had gas everyday, explain that one.

When I was sick last week I was $h!ting butterscotch milkshakes for like 5 minutes straight each time. That was unpleasant.

Anyone for some desert via DF??

I have assloads to offer.

I've gotta poo...I mean make a "warm loaf" and drop it off "at the pool."

Hopefully you're not having to drop off a "fat albert" @ the pool.

I did just now...I'm afraid he disintegrated upon impact and got stuck on the bottom of the pool. Poor fat bastard.

I hereby petition that the forum be renamed Poop Joke Central"

Sadly he doesn't make one go hey hey hey, more like ouch ouch ouch.

I hereby petition that the forum be renamed Poop Joke Central"

+1

GMs a sinking ship...you know what else sinks? Poo

Satty, your proposal will take a while to digest.