Dammit. I just sat here and ate an entire pack of beef jerky. Don't you hate when that happens? 14,000 grams of protein, yes... but 14,001 grams of sodium. I hate salty/savory snacks!

So...you usually eat meat this early in the morning?

Well, at 6:30, I had a bowl of AllBran with Yogurt bites, skim milk, lite peaches, and Target's delicious Lemon/Ginger drink (no added sweeteners). Then I went out and walked 2.1 miles, so I had a big glass of room temperature spring water. But then I was feeling a bit hungry, so I opened the jerky with the intention of eating the recommended 1 ounce serving and that's when hell broke loose and I became the juggernaut.

Just can't stop when you get that meat in your mouth, huh?

...was that too far?

"like a yellow dart to my heart..."

"like a yellow dart to my heart..."

This attempt to throw me off by hitting on me was rendered less effective by the fact that I have seen much worse. You aren't 6'4" and you don't wear tight pink dresses. Therefore, I'm not so scared. It's like showing your papercut to a 'Nam vet

(Tina Louise voice) but I don't want you to be scared, Mr. Dart...

You realize I'm only hitting on you because you finally posted a picture of yourself in your avatar, right? You so sexy!

(Tina Louise voice)  but I don't want you to be scared, Mr. Dart...

erm... I looked up Tina Louise but that doesn't help me know the voice. I think I'm too young to know who she is.

I thought Gilligan's Island was universal and ageless. Damn, does this mean I'm getting olde?

Yeah, I didn't watch that much TV as a kid when the classics were on reruns. So I've never seen Gilligan's Island, I dream of jeannie, Magnum PI, Happy Days or anything like that. I think the only old TV shows I've seen are Honeymooners, MASH, Knight Rider and MacGyver.

Oh. Well, Tina Louise talks like Marilyn Monroe, with that high, breathless, affected voice. It would sound totally creepy coming out of my mouth. How about if I talk like Chef on South Park? Any movement? A twitch? No? OK, I give up for now. :AH-HA_wink:

You have not eaten true beef jerkey unless you've bought some

at a gas station in Maine. I'm NOT kiddin' either. The good stuff

does not have a brand name and it does NOT come in a plastic

bag. It's sold out of a plexiglass box and wrapped in wax paper.

Almost any decent gas station around Bar Harbour & Old Orchard

Beach has the good stuff. It costs $2 for a slice the size of a legal

envelope and once you've had it you'll never call anything else

"beef jerky". It's like a glass of $200 Red Merlot compared to a

warm Bud Light in a plastic cup.

"...warm Bud Lite in a plastic cup"... OMG, Sly, you actually went to that "Golden Shower" party I told you about, didn't you? I WAS ONLY JOKING! I didn't really think you were into that kind of stuff (it's way too kinky for me). Well, ya learn somethin' new every single day, I guess.

Edited June 26, 200619 yr by ocnblu

Nah, I'll just go down to Stewart's Meats in McKenna. They've got the best jerky and pepperoni I have ever had, beef, chicken, or elk.

I'm going to take a hot shower now and wash off with sandpaper!

Whoa! After a long search.. I found the beef!

NOS...why you looking at squirrel testes?

I'm not quite sure.

NOS...why you looking at squirrel testes?

Amazing what'll show up in your Hotmail inbox...

First it was a sheep, now it's a squirrel.

At least this time it's real.. :AH-HA_wink:

They look pretty fuzzy. Do they tickle?

Well aren't you inquisitive?

They do tickle a little though..

Funny how O.B. threads seem to end up in some random

collection of non-sequitors like this...

It's not a non-sequitor! It's NOS very slowly starting to open the closet door to see if the coast is clear before he makes his big escape. Let's watch him!

Almost caught.

I don't know where the beef is, but I think I found the chicken...

Funny how O.B. threads seem to end up in some random

collection of non-sequitors like this...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Lets look at the map...

Edited June 27, 200619 yr by YellowJacket894

That image is very disturbing for several reasons, the biggest of

which is that the bathing suit implies that Chicken's have

v@g!nas, which I suppose they do but I do not need to think

about that next time I eat a Wendy's 5-piece Chicken Nugget... I

mean Chicken Vag... I mean, see what I mean?!

That image is very disturbing for several reasons, the biggest of

which is that the bathing suit implies that Chicken's have

v@g!nas, which I suppose they do but I do not need to think

about that next time I eat a Wendy's 5-piece Chicken Nugget... I

mean Chicken Vag... I mean, see what I mean?!

Damn, can't wait to dip those little buggers in Sweet 'n Sour sauce next time!

You're not gay after all then... I mean if you like eating p*$$y

then you're hetero.

Whoa! After a long search.. I found the beef!

"would you like some nuts with your tubesteak"?

I love beef jerky. The saltier the better. And sometimes you gotta keep rolling it around in your mouth to get in the right place to gnaw on it a little before you can swallow the whole piece of meat. When you're done your whole jaw hurts but for some reason its wholly satisfying nonetheless.

I've taken in a whole bag of beef jerky before. Its like I can't stop.

L/M meats, Grand forks ND makes tremendous real beef jerky. i think you can even get it on the web.

in fact, one night i spent like 2 hours shopping on the internet for beef jerky, but wussed out on buying osme because its too expensive.

Edited June 27, 200619 yr by regfootball

You have not eaten true beef jerkey unless you've bought some

at a gas station in Maine.

Almost any decent gas station around Bar Harbour & Old Orchard

Beach has the good stuff.

Yes, Pantho, I need to go there...again. I was in Maine once and I loved it...very beautiful. But, aren't there snively Subaru-driving tree-hugging "packaged" liberals over there...and in great numbers? I wouldn't like THAT part.

I can't do beef jerky right now. I just had my lower braces put on today. I once knocked off an upper bracket merely biting into a Safeway (West Coast supermarket chain) deli lunch sandwich with crusty bread.

BTW, Mr. Mass/NH, is the Big Dig done? Is it easy to get around downtown Boston now?

Yes, Pantho, I need to go there...again. I was in Maine once and I loved it...very beautiful.  But, aren't there snively Subaru-driving tree-hugging "packaged" liberals over there...and in great numbers?  I wouldn't like THAT part.

The crazy part is, you know how they say a lot of stereotypes

are at least partially true... yes many of us Slovakians are

drunks & a high percentage of nerds wear goofy glasses, well

anyone who's ever driven on Maine roads can tell you that

you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Subaru wagon of

some sort (greed & burgundy Outbacks are the most common)

with two granola bar eating Lesbians in it & a bike rack on the

rear tailgate or roof.

This is SOOOOO true. Not that I mind Lesbians but I just wish

they were more like the ones in my "special" DVD collection &

less like the flanel shirt wearing mullett heads that you see in

these Subaru Outbacks/Foresters.

BTW, Mr. Mass/NH, is the Big Dig done?

YES!

Is it easy to get around downtown Boston now?

NO!

Whenever you have a whole city full of streets based on no logic

at all except for some weird system of where Paul Revere

urinated on a tree stump back in 1769 or some other more

arbitrary system of order based on a 17th century pub, 18th

century Jezebel & whatever landfill/garbage dump was filled in at

Boston Harbor in 1904 you're not in for an easy navigation.

All joking aside Boston & Mass are gorgeous as confusing as

certain parts of Boston may be. Our beautiful country's rich

heretige & colorful history all began in Boston. Every American

should make the trip out to Boston, MA at least once in his/her life.