CARBIZ

I used to be many things:  pretty, young, right most of the time, and employed by a successful GM dealership in the GTA.  (For those of you who are unfamiliar, Toronto is the Declared Center of the Known Universe, Mr. Hawking has yet to declare, from the Beyond, otherwise - and that declaration came even before we had a famous, crack smoking (it was meth, dammit!) Mayor.)  Anyway, I used to be a 'post wh0r3' (Drew, I have not read the updated rules, so please forgive the use of colorful adjectives) and, as at least one mod knows, 'Carbiz' is a clever derivative of my real surname.  Before the bankruptcy dealer clearance sale (clearing out the dealers) swept the GTA in 2008, the GMDA went from 43 relatively successful dealers (fighting over 6% of the market, my contacts at McScarem-McSc.. (never mind, that would get me in trouble) told me, in strictest confidence.  In my glory days, GM spent a not insignificant amount of time trying to figure out who 'Carbiz' was.  Alas, as only auto truth ever passed these keyboards (or their predecessors), it was the plight of 3-2003 Monte Carlos, stuck on our lot, nearly 2 years later, which gave Oshawa to know the true identity of the Scourge of Toyota.  Still, it didn't help me or my portfolio when (to qualify for Canadian 'bail out; funds, GMAC had to behave like a bank, and in Canada, at least, banks are not allowed to lease, so as well as losing sales due to skittish pre-bankruptcy customers buying inferior Accords or Camries (over the then new 2008 Malibu), since 47% of my 2007 portfolio was leasing, the 2008 'no leasing, but we've got 72 months at zero percent' gag was a harder pitch.  Then a scam by the daughter of the owner of the biggest GM franchise in Canada (we were led to believe - but who knows in the 2007 race to the bottom sweepstakes what anyone's sales were?), snagged our 53 year old Chevrolet franchise and gave it to a (never happened) new auto mall which was to feature a Chevrolet franchise.  Our 80,000 sq ft, state of the art planned for dealership on our 50+ year old, 8 acre site, went to one of our sister Toyota stores, back in 2003.  I was begged to stay behind and hock Toyotas.  As a favor to my outgoing new car boss, I visited the 80,000 sq ft palace, about a half mile from the defunct Mercury/Lincoln store where we had unceremoniously been dumped, back in 2003, and was led to a grand tour by the panting General Manager.  As a token of my appreciation, I sent the General Manager of the Toyota store, a photo which I am proud to say I inherited from this very site, that of the 2007 Texas State Fair, and the TRD team's triple axle trailer being towed by a 2005 or 2006 Silverado.  After all, that had been my screen saver at my office, why not share it with a man who runs a store I would rather be the tranny prostitute in front of, then sell the vanilla products therein.   For those of you who remember my rants, in the glory days of 2003 through 2008, when I self-banished myself from every blog site, partially out of fear of further addiction, and to 'get my life back' as I rethought my life and switched careers, I was always outspoken.  I grew up a Mopar fan, but then in the heady 1960's, in my dad's '66 and then '69 Chrysler 300s, it was easy to be a Mopar fan.  My brand new, 1982 Rampage, and its  2 head gaskets, rack and pinion steering issues, etc. soured me on Mopar; my 1987 Dodge Shadow ES, crushed it. 

My latest ride is a factory ordered, 2017 Colorado, EWB, 2WD.  Now, before any of you gals freak out, even in the warming hinterland, 4WD is a bunch of hooey, when you live in a canyon of 50 story condos.  Good rubber, the G80 locking differential, and friends from Newfoundland to help me out of ditches, is all anyone needs around here.  Besides, the extra insurance, maintenance - not to mention we are currently paying $1.38 per litre of gasoline that we export to YOU GUYS.  For those Americans who think metric is a French commie plot, we're paying about $5 a gallon.  In your bucks, maybe $3.50, but Canadians don't care about a petro-dollar when we earn in $C.    Love the truck.  I've had it since July of last year.  Been to the dealer once for a free oil change and look over.  Now, I;m looking for a boat to tow behind it.   I cannot promise I will be a post who... never mind, but Cheers and Gears felt like my home for a number of years, and despite how clinically depressed I became as GM's fortunes up here fell behind Ford, and then Chrysler, not to mention Oshawa was becoming obsolete, since I have not seen any of the 'new style' Impalas around here - none.  I wouldn't blame GM for pulling up stakes, but I'm proud to declare GM Canada truly Canadian, because GM bought McLaughlin Carriage Works in the 1920s, and that proud Canadian company dates back to the 1870s, if memory serves me correctly.  Suck that, Honda - with your labour strife-ridden Alliston plant opening in 1986 - sixty years late to the party.